Hockey Slam Poem

I always have people asking me, “Why do you play hockey?”

You think it’s weird that I play hockey? You think it’s weird that I get joy out of hearing the ping of a post, or the roar of a crowd? What about you? You play basketball, soccer, football? That’s fine, but let it be known, us hockey players, we don’t like playing with balls. And you know what, screw YOLO; live free, dangle hard; that’s a real motto.

You think it’s weird that we play for the boys, not for the stats? Name me 5 soccer players who do that. We don’t care about bumps, bruises, and cuts, those are our battle scars. You think it’s weird that we celly every chance I get? Why not? Who doesn’t love a good one knee slide after a bar down snipe? Oh that’s right, all of you who didn’t understand what I just said, that’s who. You think it’s weird that I stand in front of solid rubber at 100 + KM/h? I’ll let you know that that may be more enjoyable that sleeping. Yea, I went there.

You think it’s weird that that my sport is locked out? Well, all that means is more time for the boys to go downtown and wheel some dimes. And, no, that has nothing to do with money.  You think it’s weird that we throw punches out on the ice? That’s because we all love a good goon show.  Nothing makes you wanna throw sauce and snipe Genos’s more than seeing your teammate eat fists for the good of the team.  For the boys, we do everything for the boys.

Whether you’re a forward, d-man, or tendy, whether Canadian, American, Swedish or Russian, us hockey players are united. No matter what you say. You think it’s weird that I play hockey? Well I think it’s weird that you don’t. And I have a group of greasy goons who agree.